Breathe.Gratitude.Love.

The Trap

I set a trap to catch the fruit flies that were rudely refusing to vacate my kitchen. 

I watched one of the flies enter the trap through a narrow hole in the plastic.  He had been lured to the thing he could not resist via a meticulously crafted scheme that lay out of reach from his limited reasoning.

The first mechanism of the trap is the jar.  A clean and clear jar is attractive due to its clarity and reflective abilities. 

Next comes the apple cider vinegar poured to about 1/4 of the jar’s capacity.  The apple cider vinegar is the thing they came for. 

Next is a drop of dish detergent. When the fruit fly attempts to approach the apple cider vinegar, they will become entangled in the detergent. In other words, the detergent ensures that the fly drowns in the very thing they most desire.

The trap is closed at the top by a piece of clear plastic wrap pulled tightly around the mouth of the jar, then secured in place with a rubber band.  Tiny holes are poked in the plastic with something small like a pencil led. The holes should be just big enough for the fly to enter but extremely difficult to exit.

How it works

The latest resident of the trap was moving around the jar frantically. I watched as he pondered his limited choices. Crawling towards the apple cider vinegar seemed to be what he wanted most, but by then he had figured out that the goo on top might cause him to sink into his demise.  Perhaps his intuition led him to this conclusion, or perhaps it was the no longer with us fly bodies at the bottom of the fluid in the jar.  

After deciding against this route, he would crawl back to the plastic, crawling over the several openings available for exit.  Perhaps he was too traumatized or moving too frantically to notice that one of these holes could lead to his freedom. 

The trap works because the thing that we want is not really what we want. 

Though this poor fly was supremely attracted to the apple cider vinegar, it was really the feeling that the vinegar would give him that he wanted.  Perhaps the vinegar would send him into eternal euphoria.  Maybe the vinegar holds the answers to all of his life problems.  Regardless, he wanted it so much that he did not investigate the shady things going on around it. 

Was it a coincidence that the glass jar was so clean and shiny?  Well things are better when they are new.  What about the plastic wrap that allowed him to gaze into his own stunning reflection?  An added bonus.  And that weird goo floating on top of the vinegar?  It was probably just some fine print that he could skirt around once he got inside.  

But what about all of the unalive flies at the bottom of the jar?  Did the newest trapped fruit fly notice them at all?  Or perhaps he thought he was smarter than those guys.  Maybe he had a winning strategy that those 200 idiot souls laying  lifeless at the bottom had not thought of.

Why do you want it?

What is inside your jar?  Is it the job that gives you a big, important title? Is it the relationship that tucks you neatly into the picture of living a perfect life?  Is it the beautiful, new, latest construction, open floor-plan home in the nicest subdivision in the city?

Wanting the thing is not the problem of course.  But there is a difference between wanting the the job title as a status symbol versus wanting it to better support yourself or your family financially.  Wanting a relationship to share your life with someone special is different from wanting it to prove your desirability social media.   So before we head out to get the thing, I challenge us to first investigate why we want it in the first place.

I challenge us to ask ourselves “What is my truest intention? What feeling does having a new home symbolize for me?” Or “How will a new job title or relationship reflect who I am inside?”

Asking these questions allows us to identify with the feeling we desire rather than attaching to its symbol.  Security is an inner knowing that can reflect in our reality as a better job.    But if we don’t first feel secure within ourselves, we will constantly chase the latest title that does not really exist, because there is no outer security without inner security. Chasing outward things leaves us exhausted, frustrated and disappointed because the things can never fill the inner void left by personal feelings of insecurity.

Crawling out of the Hole

I have only ever seen one fruit fly crawl back out of the hole in the plastic.  When he did, he stayed attached to the outside of the glass jar.  He never did fly away, even though the was free to do so.  Perhaps his wings did not work anymore. Perhaps he was too scared or traumatized to move forward. For whatever reason, he clung to the outside of the jar and never moved again.

This is a tragic ending for the fruit fly, but a lesson for us as humans.  We have a higher intelligence that allows us to analyze the things around us instead of blindly taking them at face value.  

There are some traps from which we never recover.  In these traps we serve as one of the souls at the bottom, hopefully warning others to avoid this trap at all costs. 

Then there are the traps that we can strategically plan our way out of.  This means complete focus and dedication to saving our own lives above all else.  

Here are a few points to take into consideration for planning our way out of a trap:

• Acknowledge that we are indeed caught in a trap.  Acknowledging that you have been caught in a trap is the only way to get out of it. This acknowledgment may evoke strong emotions such as disappointment and anger.  While it is important to acknowledge these emotions, dwelling in them for too long becomes yet another trap.  Make a plan, start moving forward and process the difficult feelings along the way. This will allow you to avoid becoming stuck inside the stagnation of ruminating over the past.
• Acknowledge what you cannot change and what you can change.  The fruit fly cannot crack the jar, but it can navigate the holes in the plastic.  You may not be able to make a significant impact on the structure of your trap, but you can focus on the parts that are pliable to your freedom. 
• Plan the exit strategy. Exiting the trap without a plan could leave us stuck on the side of the jar, clinging helplessly to a life we no longer want but unable to fly into the life we desire.  Planning and envisioning a new life gives validity to the exit plan.  Envision who you want to be and take steps in that direction.
• Submit your Vision to your Highest Self.  Or God, or The Divine Collective, or The Ancestors, or by any other name.  Ask for help from the unseen realm, and help you will receive.  
• Work your plan.  Submit your plan to your Highest Self, then start doing your part. The entire plan may not be clear, but there are always things that you can start doing now.  The first step could be as simple as shifting to a positive mindset or believing that you are able to get out of the trap.

Avoiding the traps altogether

Once we have identified the components of one trap, other traps become more obvious. But as we evolve in conscious awareness, the traps of want become trickier and more involved. Therefore celebrate our victories when we escape a past trap and we prepare ourselves for new traps ahead. Here are some ways to avoid future traps altogether:

• Recognizing the signs of a trap. That 25k sign-on bonus attached to your new job title has stipulations. Accepting the money without investigating why it is available in the first place is to blindly accept everything that comes with it. Are the lifeless dreams of those who came before you lying at the bottom? Does the position reflect who you are or who you want to become? Take time to investigate the surroundings and decide if this is an opportunity for growth or the sinkings of a trap.
• Building our inner security . Building our internal state of safety and security allows us to move through life without fear and clinging. It frees us from accepting the first person or thing that comes along for fear that nothing else will become available to us. It frees us from seeking security in other people or things because we know and believe in our own inner security. Believing in our own inner security grants us the knowledge that our inner state will become available to us in an outward form. We do not need to campaign, compete, try or fight because it will be.
• Recognizing our inner safety and security as separate from the resulting materialized symbols.   Our inner safety and security projects outwardly as the things that support our story. The value of our beautiful inner space manifests the beautiful, spacious home that supports our being. Our self-love and compassion attracts the relationship that allows us to express our love on a grander scale. This understanding lets the things that make sense to our story come to us freely without the tiresome chasing of illusions.
• Remaining in alignment with our life-vision. Staying on course with our life vision gives us the freedom to delay gratification for the bigger, long-lasting reveal that lives beyond our wildest dreams. This can mean avoiding the shortcuts and the pressure to do things the way everyone else does. This can mean long periods of mundane tasks that seem to lead nowhere. We remain committed to the tasks of our life-vision, even without evidence of its eventual fruition. This commitment keeps our goal in focus, leaving no room for the trappings of want.

Crafting a life that avoids traps takes tremendous work. It means recognizing and acknowledging the areas where we feel insecure and unsafe. It involves countless layers and modalities of healing the mental injuries and personal traumas that caused us to feel insecure and unsafe in the first place. It is a lifelong journey.

But since we are here and working anyway, we might as well work on the betterment of ourselves.

It is released.