Breathe.Gratitude.Love.

I admit to being one of those people who gets the urge to move every few years.  Sometimes it is a long-distance move other times it’s just around the corner.  Each move seems to be prompted by a lifestyle change, perhaps a new job or the desire for different surroundings.

After three years of living in the same home, I was ready for another move.  This time I wanted to move into a newly built town home with new appliances, sleek lighting and an open floor plan.  It was in a quiet neighborhood with a highly desired school zone, a community swimming pool and easy access to surrounding attractions.  The monthly rent was steep, but I figured I would make the sacrifice for a few years.

I completed the self-guided tour, fantasized about decor options and surveyed the neighborhood.  I then submitted my application and waited for their response.  Just a few hours later, I received notification that my application had been denied.

Facing the truth

I was so certain of my impending move that I had already begun the deep cleaning required for moving out of my current residence.   My current home had always felt fresh and clean after a day of washing, vacuuming and organizing, but cleaning in preparation for a move was a completely different story.  Cleaning to move out meant scrubbing floor boards, cleaning and dusting air vents, molding and window seals.  It forces you to move appliances and furniture to ensure every bit of dirt, grime and grit is removed before leaving.  It takes extra time, extra effort  and immense dedication.

The parallels between the deep cleaning of the house and my present life circumstances played louder than a high-school band at homecoming.  I was no more surprised by finding dust accumulations in the lesser-inspected places of the home than I was by the declined rental application.  I paid the bills that kept us housed and fed, but dust and grime had accumulated in other areas of my financial life. 

I gave myself credit for surviving years of financial hardships amplified by divorce, depression and feelings of hopelessness.  Then the big C-19 hit, pushing my finances even further into their familiar margins.  Still, I survived.  My family remained intact, housed and tentatively afloat, even under difficult circumstances. 

The problem was I forgot to switch from surviving to thriving once things got better, which allowed the dust and debris to build in my financial life.  While I certainly felt the sting of rejection after the denied rental application, it allowed me to look closer at the entirety of my body affairs.  It was time for a leveling-up deep-cleaning.

Building a fresh start

The thought of a fresh start can read like a fairy tale. A previously unknown and incredibly rich uncle leaves you a 4 million dollar inheritance that comes through just in time to save the family farm. Your numbers hit just as the repo man pulls into your driveway. An angel investor magically appears and wipes away all of your past debt in support of your ingenious invention that is sure to sell. These story lines work wonders on your favorite streaming platforms, but they do not always translate efficiently in real life.

As we hold space for quantum miracles, we also go to work on our own behalf by building our own fresh start. Here are a few of my personal steps on the road to financial restoration:

1. Acknowledgment-  Acknowledging the consequences of past choices gave me full ownership of my story.  Seeing the story in full, including unforeseen circumstances and personal missteps, allowed for constructive awareness and lasting progress.  This acknowledgment released the need for time-consuming, life devouring shame and blame, leaving a clear path to develop a high-quality plan of action.  
2. Reflection-  Reviewing the facts of my life circumstances allowed a clearer view of my role in how things played out.  This involved reviewing my financial patterns and developing an awareness of the emotions attached to personal financial tendencies and beliefs.  Some unhealthy patterns were a quick fix while others required a deeper understanding of my embedded beliefs.  (Reflection is also the perfect step in which to seek the guidance of a coach, mentor or counselor for emotional support).
3. Plan of Action–   After being declined for the town home, my first action was to simply take a step back and look at the situation from a broader perspective.  Was it better to keep applying to different places, or was it better to get myself in a better place first?  Indeed action can be a grand gesture that requires pushing forward, or it can be the action of a stillness that allows us to take a deep breath, accept what is and move forward from a place of clarity.  This could mean swallowing pride, slowing the pace and commitment  to repairing past missteps in preparation for a brighter future. 
4. Out with the old- The denial of my rental application came at a perfect time of year, when old things are released in preparation for a renewed life.  It initiated a deeper dive into the things that would not support a healthier financial life and clearing them away.  This meant evaluating the intentions and emotions behind every single purchase in place of mindless spending.  It meant being accountable for my financial responsibilities instead of ignoring them in hopes of them going away.  It meant realigning with the full potential of my life path instead of taking shortcuts. 
5. Set a focal point-   Having a focal point plays a dual role in accomplishing long-term goals.  It serves as the force that drives towards the desired outcome and it repels the things that would slow progress.  It is equally important to establish clearly definable timelines and checkpoints to ensure the focal point is an active target and not just a vague theory.  It can also be helpful to have an image of your intended target  as a visual reminder of why you are choosing consciously and making necessary sacrifices.
6. Make new choices-  After deciding to deep clean my body of affairs, opportunities to make different choices appeared almost instantly.  It became clear that a restructuring of priorities could have a lasting positive effect on my overall quality of life.  The work can be challenging, but the challenges fade in comparison to accomplishments that once seemed out of reach.
7. Tell others about it- I made it clear to my household members that rebuilding my financial health was top priority for the next 12 months.  I shared my overall focal point, my initial plan of action and when they should expect a progress update. Sharing this information gave me instant accountability partners as an added incentive.  

Self-compassion

Moving into a healthier life space does not require shaming or blaming the past.  The time spent in shame and blame is better used in rebuilding ourselves from the inside out.  Our challenges are custom built and placed here for the sole purpose of our personal growth and development.  While it is important to acknowledge all of our feelings, wallowing in them becomes counter productive and can seduce us into inaction.

Every decision that we have made so far has been the best decision available to us in any given moment.  The farther we make it along the path of healing and restoration, the broader our vision becomes.  Looking back only serves as a tool to help make better present-day choices.  Looking back gives us the opportunity to thank our past self for enduring, for bringing us to our present state of consciousness and for cheering us on as we move to higher levels of evolution.  Pay gratitude to yourself,  to your missteps and to the circumstances that have invested in your present-day greatness and the light of your future.  Move forward with confidence, knowing you are not alone.  

It is released.